You Can't See That You're Just the Same as All the Stupid People That You Hate.I'm Not Saying I'm Free From Blame Cuz I Need All the Friends I Can Get

It's true.

Today I broke a blade in half with my bare hands!! In my absence from blogging I have become strong. Like IRON. Maybe even stronger. Since I broke a blade which was quite possibly made of iron.

But now as I blog I can feel the strength leak from my fingertips. It will probably soon be gone. I will be back to my former weak self, unable to break a blade. And I will cry sad, lonely tears.

Have you played Fallout 3? Don't. I lost a week of my life to that game. It's brilliant. It's got a postapocalyptic world, Liam Neeson, aliens, and a Samurai. What more you could you want?

I was also attacked by a monster. It turned into a festering wound, but it is receding now with the help of lembas. So don't worry.

My keyboard is dirty. I'm losing my mind. As I was typing that I couldn't remember how to spell keyboard. I spelt it as keeboard. That's sad. I also typed I'm losing my ming. Now that one may be right. I'm not sure what a ming is, but I tend to lose a lot of things. So it wouldn't surprise me if I lost a ming or two in my time.

I also watched NCIS:LA with teh fam, and there was a Chinese gang called Hiragana. Wuh-what? Do any of the zero people who read this blog speak Chinese? Because I want to know if that's an actual Chinese word. It's definitely a Japanese one...

Ka KAAAaaaa

FAIL

Today I was trying to decide what to eat, when I realized that I could not remember the last time I ate pudding. That's unacceptable. So I ate chocolate pudding.

Also, my socks match. Also, I am tired.

Today I ran around like a...something with part of it's body maimed. Don't ask me about little things like metaphors or somalis right now. My brain is shot. If you were here I'd show you the scar. But you're not, so don't ask.

I said don't.

I said jump?

Maybe.

I hope you all're having a great new year. And yes that's a real contraction.

Jaa.

Iin desu ka?

Today I am watching people fight zombies. I'm not sure whether I'd rather be a zombie or a human. I like having consciousness...but not so sure I'd like it if an axe was splitting me open. So I guess it depends on the situation. Which is the same name of someone's abs. I only know that because of the red-haired man, I swear.

He teaches me a lot.

I don't like venison. But at my house we've had venison sausage, venison hamburgers, venison spaghetti, and venison chili. Yuck.

Played Assassin's Creed 2 yet? Because you should. Say hi to Mr. Da Vinci for me. And make sure to look at the photos carefully...there's binary and Morse code and other fun things hidden, if you're into history-inspired mysteries. Which I am. And a lot of the time they're downright creepy. I think it's scarier than RE, because it's more subtle and realistic...

And Ezio's VA = Chris Redfield's VA. I know, right?

Oh, and yet another game update, I got a Ring of the Lord game, and guess what? On the evil side you get to demolish Rivendell and The Shire...haven't gotten there yet but I'm exciiiiiited. And you can play as a balrog (I think). Nyahah.

It's been awhile since I've written something. A little because I don't really have teh internets. A lot because I'm lazy. I added to Om Om's story. She finally found a peach tree at age 86. But it wasn't really a peach tree. It was a training ground for ninjas. They were supposed to skin a peach, fold their bones, get back into the peach and then reattach themselves to the tree. Don't ask me how; I'm not a real ninja. Just a fake one. So Om Om cut open what she thought was at last the famed volcano peach. But a ninja popped out. He was so impressed with her endurance, he ditched his other living-inside-peach friends and brought her back to the dojo in Japan with him. There she became the oldest known ninja. The End-end.

These people need to work on their communication. Ones opening the door and the other's yelling at him.

I entered a large contest............I want to WIN. Well it was only a contest in a broad sense. It was more of an application. But you can't win an application. And I want to WIN.

I'm getting better at talking to people. But I still wish I had more people to talk to. I've discovered Facebook makes me feel lonely.

Watching them play has made me decide I'd rather be a zombie.

I need to read more. I want to read some Vonnegut. Almost done with Pratchett's Hogfather. Good, but not great. I like the Vimes books better than any of the other storylines.

Does anyone actually read this? Maybe not, but that's probably for the good of all mankind.

This is very disjointed. Probably because my socks match.

Apparently there's no person. This is what teh Gertrude told me. Now she shot a bird. That's not nice. We have to be on the DL, otherwise known as the dizzle lizzle. Apparently I have seduced them with the game. So it's my fault...I say it's theirs. Bon Jovi was sung after nine. And they made a that's what she said joke. So, yeah.

I just found out that I've had this blog for over a year....weird. Wish I had some Pepsi and grenadine to celebrate. AIt does not feel like it and the amount of updates does not reflect that. Maybe I'll change that. Maybe I won't. We'll see.

Happy year of ze Tigre.

I am the Walrus

Sometimes, I feel like fishing.

Then I remember, I don't like to fish.

So I don't.

Sailors Fighting in the Dance Hall, oh man, Look at Those Cavemen Go

Bon Giorno, hungry citizens.

So I'm spending a little bit of time in a city on a very high floor, 23rd in fact. In other words, I am towering over quite a lot of people.

During this time, I have discovered that I my powers of klutziness and reckless driving are far more capable than I ever thought before. Looking down, I saw a man trip up stairs while carrying a box filled with stuff that fell all over, and a person drive the wrong way down a one way.

I know, I couldn't believe it either. Usually the person has to be at LEAST ten feet away for my power to transfer.*

I started playing FFX again. This time I hope to beat it rather than stopping at the last time you fight Sin and quitting. Thanks to a request from Mufasa, I'm naming all my aeons after rulers that killed a lot of people...well mostly, anyway. My Valefor is Stalin, Ifrit is (demanded by Mufasa) Kim Jong Il (well actually Kim Jng Il because of the character spaces) and Ixion is Mao Zedong (actually Mao Zdong). Any ideas for Shiva (preferably a girl), Bahamut, the three sisters (not necessarily girls), the samurai dude, and/or Anima?

Gatorade, not as good as water, but for some reason I'm drinking it.

Didja see the new rvb? It's a doooooooooozy. Well, not really, but it is funny.

I have this idea for a story and now that I have all this alone time, I really thought I'd be working on it. Instead I find myself in other stories, BAH. I've read a lot lately. Jules Verne is sooooooo two centuries ago.

I don't know if Bunraku is actually going to come out as a movie. So it might still be awhile until Gackt and David Bowie meet, thereby delaying the end of the world.

Maybe then I'll have time to work on my story. Or read Sandman. Or Bleach. Or Hemmingway. Or Pratchett. Or the myriad of collections of short stories I have in my room. Le sigh.

Feels like I haven't seen anyone other than my Dad in awhile. So no new stories about Bosley, Mufasa, or the others.

Oh! but wait. I have an old story. About Mufasa. We were at a grocery store (marvelous things, those, but where's the Calpis?!) and...welll I guess I need a little bit of set up here. As siblings, Mufasa, Mo-mo and I often share shirts. (and sometimes even hats, le gasp!) So I have this shirt with an owl on it, and Mufasa happened to be wearing it at the time. Well, an old lady came up and pet him. His arm, and the back where the owl was. Apparently she used to save owls.

I don't suppose any of you know how long it would take for suns to change places in a binary star system? Nah, me either.

I like rain.

P.S. Yes, yes you can.

P.P.S. In Soviet Russia, you don't use computers, computers use YOU.

* reading over this again, I realized that I should have said at MOST, not least. Just think of what my powers of misusing the English language could do. Bahaha.

P. P. P. S. I just watched some Australian football. That shiz iz crazy.

Burn the Land; Boil the Sea; You Can't Take the Sky from Me

Well.

Pretty deep subject for such a shallow mind, aaaaaahahahah.

I kill myself. Or at least I bet you wish I would. I see the way you look at me. With your eyes. Incredulously.

That's right, I said it.
The thing is, I'm not sure I can actually say that word out loud. If I could, would you promise to stop wishing I wasn't alive?

If so, maybe I'll practice saying it. If not, I'll continue to trail off after 'incred' and hope you're distracted by something shiny or don't know how to pronounce it either so awkward silence interrupts the conversation.

Ever read Jules Verne? I'd heard he was the father of steampunk, and I like steampunk (I have goggles), so I gave him a try. I checked out a book from a library (yes, they still exist, despite the best efforts of kappas) that had three of his books in one.

Disclaimer: Yes, I know the books are old. Yes, I know not all cliches were cliches back then. Yes, I know most people were racist back then. Yes, I know things change. Yes, I know oranges are not always orange, but in fact sometimes have a greenish tinge.

Book one: Around the World in 80 Days. An okay book, but quite easy to tell he is racist (everyone does everything because of the country they're from, 'you could tell he's German because'....'he said this in a way only an English man could'...'Like a true American...', plus apparently all Japanese women are unattractive) and sexist (There's really only one female, but she starts off kidnapped by 'savages,' and travels with them the rest of the way barely saying anything, just buying dresses, and ends up wanting to marry the main character...I believe there's a term for this cliche...I think it ends in damsel and starts with distress, but maybe it's the other way around) and classist? (his servants are always immensely happy to be servants and willing to do whatever it takes to make their master happy, often valuing the master's life far above their own). Main character starts off interesting, goes nowhere with it. Ending is quite blah.

Book two: From the Earth to the Moon. Boring. So many scientific facts, most with notes saying that it's now been disproved. No kiddies, you can't make a giant slingshot in order to get to the moon. Unless you're Santa and giving gifts to the moonlings. If that's the case, I grant you special permission. It's actually the first book in years (not counting books for school) that I just gave up on and didn't finish. I didn't care about the gun club not having things to shoot at, or any of the people in it.

Book three: 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Best of the lot, by far. Still racist and classist, but there's no females so no sexism. I still have 80 pages left though, so that could change. Best thing about it: Captain Nemo. He starts out mysterious like Phineas did, but this time Verne actually goes somewhere with it. The scene where the Nemo makes them hide, and then the next day there's a dying man on board...my favorite part so far. The description of fish and plants gets kind of repetitive, but meh. And they go to Atlantis! Which is sorta one of my hometowns, so I got excited.

Oh, but this line cracked me up: 'In light-hearted countries jokes were made on the subject; but in grave and practical countries like England, America, and Germany, much attention was paid to it.'

Bahah. See what I mean? No, you don't, you're too busy looking at me incredously. Well, I'm still trying to find an example of a light-hearted country.

Oh well, even if the last 80 pages disappoint, after this I'm reading a bunch of short stories by Haruki Murakami, a Russian dude I forgot the name of, and I've got a couple left in a sci-fi/fantasy anthology.

Speaking of sci-fi...I finally finished Firefly!!! Yatta!!! and sadness. Still haven't watched Serenity but will do so in the next couple days. I am deeply sad that Legend of the Seeker continues to run, but Firefly was cut short. Blech. If you haven't watched it, do so. It's amazin' and shiny.

A month or more so ago I took Mo-mo out to eat and we told each other stories. Well first I made her tell me a story but it was boring and was exactly what we were doing at that moment. So she made me tell one, and I told the story of Om-om, a girl eternally looking for peaches at a volcano, and Ydnag, a girl living in antartica wearing the skins of penguins. I can't remember what happened exactly, but I shouted something about elves pretty loudly and everyone looked at me. I just stared at the window and drank my Coke (which was bad enough as it was).

A couple months before that even I was in the car with...well she wants a different name that I forgot what it was, so I'll just call her 'G.' So I was in the car with G and Bosley was getting gas. I noticed the car in front of me had a license plate from Alaska. So even though this was before I read Verne, I guess he helped me figure out what Alaskans are like.

They all:
~ wear white baseball hats
~ wear shiny shoes
~ drive black trucks
~ travel with another friend in a flanel shirt
~ stare at the display while pumping gas
~ smell of penguins (and Ydnag would know)
~ have that white hat so that it can be transformed into an igloo for sleeping purposes
~ sleep in said hat-igloo while traveling

There you have it. Now you will know. If you meet someone who claims to be Alaskan and doesn't meet up to these, they're either lying to you, or are some kind of halfsie.

So look with that incredoulous stare of yours. Because there could be one behind you right now! :o

I learned the kanji for saitei, and I think it fits this blog pretty well, so that is how I'm going to end it now.

最低

Missing in a maze of monochrome

Hisashiburi da neee. I am back, mostly due to popular demand. Popular demand being two people and a poplar. Bask in my fame! I demand it back from you!

Now that you're done basking, ... what.

I wish I was controlling a wolf that paints with it's tail right now, but there are men throwing balls on the tv instead.

Bosley and I were walking a most fearsome beast by the name of Retnuh (haha, retina...) when I noticed that a tree that looked like it was smiling. Bosley and our other nameless friend agreed. I told Bosley that it only had a smile for her, and without her it would be but a sad lonely tree. Bosley said she'd been too loved by people lately (and she says that's not a hint...but me and my peg leg know otherwise). So I said that the tree hated her more than any other human, and that when she would wake up all the trees would scream 'Bosleyyyyyyy' in a hiss.

And if anyone can scream and hiss at the same time, it would be the trees.

Today I battled a hoary gremlin. I'm not sure what that word means, but it looks threatening. It doesn't sound as threatening, due to semantics. My only weapon was a plastic tube. Its only weapon was ink. At the beginning I was prevailing, conquering, even, and then at the end, I was covered in ink and sad. Them gremlins are tricky fellas. If you ever come across one, make sure you have a foot scrub. Their feat are nasty. Hah, that's a pun that only I get and you think you might, but really it just confuses you.

Just smile and then frown, alternating between the two every couple of seconds. Now and then throw in a thin-lipped grimace, just to prove you're human and have the normal range of emotions. They'll believe you.

I don't though. You can fake it for the papers, but I'm on to you, I'm on to you.

Actually, I'm not human either. I find more evidence day in and day out that I am in fact a robot, android, or made entirely of foam. For example, today I got a new number. I won't tell you what it is though, or you could take it for your own, and then I'd be a sad robot/foam being.

Ah, I can finally change the tv from the sportsified men, but alas the orange-haired man has few words left.

This is far too strange a blog for only being 11:22. Then again I woke up at 5:30 and went to sleep at...2?ish.

Maybe it's time for me to end this before I trip and spill yet another liquid all over something else that is not supposed to have liquid on it.

Dakaraaaaaaaaaa

owari.

Oh, and don't forget to bask.