Burn the Land; Boil the Sea; You Can't Take the Sky from Me

Well.

Pretty deep subject for such a shallow mind, aaaaaahahahah.

I kill myself. Or at least I bet you wish I would. I see the way you look at me. With your eyes. Incredulously.

That's right, I said it.
The thing is, I'm not sure I can actually say that word out loud. If I could, would you promise to stop wishing I wasn't alive?

If so, maybe I'll practice saying it. If not, I'll continue to trail off after 'incred' and hope you're distracted by something shiny or don't know how to pronounce it either so awkward silence interrupts the conversation.

Ever read Jules Verne? I'd heard he was the father of steampunk, and I like steampunk (I have goggles), so I gave him a try. I checked out a book from a library (yes, they still exist, despite the best efforts of kappas) that had three of his books in one.

Disclaimer: Yes, I know the books are old. Yes, I know not all cliches were cliches back then. Yes, I know most people were racist back then. Yes, I know things change. Yes, I know oranges are not always orange, but in fact sometimes have a greenish tinge.

Book one: Around the World in 80 Days. An okay book, but quite easy to tell he is racist (everyone does everything because of the country they're from, 'you could tell he's German because'....'he said this in a way only an English man could'...'Like a true American...', plus apparently all Japanese women are unattractive) and sexist (There's really only one female, but she starts off kidnapped by 'savages,' and travels with them the rest of the way barely saying anything, just buying dresses, and ends up wanting to marry the main character...I believe there's a term for this cliche...I think it ends in damsel and starts with distress, but maybe it's the other way around) and classist? (his servants are always immensely happy to be servants and willing to do whatever it takes to make their master happy, often valuing the master's life far above their own). Main character starts off interesting, goes nowhere with it. Ending is quite blah.

Book two: From the Earth to the Moon. Boring. So many scientific facts, most with notes saying that it's now been disproved. No kiddies, you can't make a giant slingshot in order to get to the moon. Unless you're Santa and giving gifts to the moonlings. If that's the case, I grant you special permission. It's actually the first book in years (not counting books for school) that I just gave up on and didn't finish. I didn't care about the gun club not having things to shoot at, or any of the people in it.

Book three: 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Best of the lot, by far. Still racist and classist, but there's no females so no sexism. I still have 80 pages left though, so that could change. Best thing about it: Captain Nemo. He starts out mysterious like Phineas did, but this time Verne actually goes somewhere with it. The scene where the Nemo makes them hide, and then the next day there's a dying man on board...my favorite part so far. The description of fish and plants gets kind of repetitive, but meh. And they go to Atlantis! Which is sorta one of my hometowns, so I got excited.

Oh, but this line cracked me up: 'In light-hearted countries jokes were made on the subject; but in grave and practical countries like England, America, and Germany, much attention was paid to it.'

Bahah. See what I mean? No, you don't, you're too busy looking at me incredously. Well, I'm still trying to find an example of a light-hearted country.

Oh well, even if the last 80 pages disappoint, after this I'm reading a bunch of short stories by Haruki Murakami, a Russian dude I forgot the name of, and I've got a couple left in a sci-fi/fantasy anthology.

Speaking of sci-fi...I finally finished Firefly!!! Yatta!!! and sadness. Still haven't watched Serenity but will do so in the next couple days. I am deeply sad that Legend of the Seeker continues to run, but Firefly was cut short. Blech. If you haven't watched it, do so. It's amazin' and shiny.

A month or more so ago I took Mo-mo out to eat and we told each other stories. Well first I made her tell me a story but it was boring and was exactly what we were doing at that moment. So she made me tell one, and I told the story of Om-om, a girl eternally looking for peaches at a volcano, and Ydnag, a girl living in antartica wearing the skins of penguins. I can't remember what happened exactly, but I shouted something about elves pretty loudly and everyone looked at me. I just stared at the window and drank my Coke (which was bad enough as it was).

A couple months before that even I was in the car with...well she wants a different name that I forgot what it was, so I'll just call her 'G.' So I was in the car with G and Bosley was getting gas. I noticed the car in front of me had a license plate from Alaska. So even though this was before I read Verne, I guess he helped me figure out what Alaskans are like.

They all:
~ wear white baseball hats
~ wear shiny shoes
~ drive black trucks
~ travel with another friend in a flanel shirt
~ stare at the display while pumping gas
~ smell of penguins (and Ydnag would know)
~ have that white hat so that it can be transformed into an igloo for sleeping purposes
~ sleep in said hat-igloo while traveling

There you have it. Now you will know. If you meet someone who claims to be Alaskan and doesn't meet up to these, they're either lying to you, or are some kind of halfsie.

So look with that incredoulous stare of yours. Because there could be one behind you right now! :o

I learned the kanji for saitei, and I think it fits this blog pretty well, so that is how I'm going to end it now.

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