You Don't Need a Spaceship, They Don't Know That You've Already Lived on the Other Side of the Galaxy

Disclaimer: This blog post is all Bosley's fault. She made me do it. So point the pitchforks towards her.

I found out why the world is going to end in 2012. Gackt will meet David Bowie.

Think about it; they're obviously the same person. Just one happens to be Japanese. They dance, talk, and look the same (other than the racial differences in appearance, they do. Trust me), and they probably even smell the same, I just haven't gotten close enough.

Well if you didn't know Gackt is making a movie with Josh Hartnett called Bunraku. Naturally, as the Japanese man, Gackt is named Yoshi and is a samurai. (You have to give them creative credit on this-he could have been a ninja. That's just overdone.)

Anyway, because of this movie, Gackt (presumably) now knows English pretty well...and having been to the states a few times, (including with S.K.I.N....with Miyavi! zomg.) he will start to meet other famous people...and this will gradually build up...until he meets his twin soul!

And if you've ever watched any time traveling movie at all, you know that it is impossible to exist in the same place at the same time...twice. So the world will either implode or explode...I'm not sure which. I'm thinking explode, because the world will want to share such greatness with the rest of it's friends.

Then again, this world being the only one known for sure to have oceans and stable sources of water, it's kind of greedy. It never shares with other worlds, and I'm guessing Mercury could do with a good drink, and I know Venus could. Pluto (YES it's a planet and always will be, even if it's picked on by us) probably doesn't want anything to do with us after we decided it's no longer one of us. That and it's really cold, so it probably would only want the hot springs anyway, and that'd be unfair to the rest, especially Saturn.

Well anyway, if that's the case then I guess the world would implode, wanting to keep the greatness that is Gackt and David Bowie all to it's self. And such stars are meant to live among the stars! Such a sad world we live in. Er, well, on. And after it implodes or explodes...not on.

Oh yeah, I was going to talk about music too. First off, lately I've kind of been wanting to find some new, maybe slightly more upbeat music. And I found out that the Dresden Dolls made a silent film with Panic at the Disco and toured with them. Since I love the Dresden Dolls beyond words (besides those I just used to express my love), I thought, all right, I'll try that. I tried the cd Pretty. Odd, or something like that...eh. It wasn't horrible, but it certainly wasn't brilliant either. They have some good things going, but then they repeat it, over and over and over and over. That's too many overs for me.

Kinda funny that I like songs like Slipping Away and 10 Miles High by Nine Inch Nails...but I guess there the voice is almost like an instrument...also the music changes enough to keep my interest. PatD just repeats everything...repeatedly. I like a couple songs, and I'd be willing to try another CD, perhaps that was just the boring one, but I don't think I'll go back to that again.

My other music news is that I read a review of the song Dear Jenny (which, if you don't know it, why are you still reading my blog? Go listen to it!) by the Dresden Dolls. And the person who reviewed it was upset because her name was Jenny, and she felt it badly represented the (Jenny's? Jennies? good thing I'm an English major or this would be a hard decision to make.) of the world. I couldn't help but think that if Amanda Palmer wrote a song that used my name, and simply went: "I HATE GANDY I HATE GANDY IHATEGANDY" I'd be ecstatic and love the song forever. "Aww, she wrote about me!" I would delude myself.

Gah, people these days. Ain't got no respecta.

Well anyway, back to the point of this broadcast:

Pay no heed to the comet or black hole theories. Clearly the world will end because Gackt and David Bowie will meet.

I am a Plagiarist, Apologist, a Walrus-gecko-lizard. Ah Oh.

I don't know that I have done anything interesting lately, I don't even think I have anything original to say. I do have some quotes from other people.

A couple days ago I was playing Resident Evil 4, mainly because Mufasa said if I didn't, he'd run some blood tests and prove that we weren't really related. And I hate needles. Anyways, I got to the part just before you meet Ashley in the church. Of course, I was knifing the barrels, when one of them happened to have an incendiary grenade in it. Finding this just a tad odd, I said, "why would a church have a grenade sitting in a barrel?" To which Mufasa replied:
"It's a Spanish church."

Huh. Fair enough.

I also fought this one guy that I swear is rip-off of the troll from Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring. Apparently Mufasa and his buddies call this creature "Mr. Growlie-growlie," probably because of his shorts. Well anyway, I did the logical thing and took out the rocket launcher. Killed him in one shot. Mufasa made me start over and fight him the 'proper way.' Pfft. I was glad I'd saved that dog from the bear trap.

I also recently finished "The Colour of Magic" by Terry Pratchett (did you ever realize how many Terry's write fantasy? I'm almost beginning to think it's a prerequisite) and though I was a bit disappointed, it did redeem itself a bit at the end. One of my favorite quotes was when one of the characters starts hearing voices in their head, and this section reminded me, almost to an uncomfortable level, of an internal monologue I go through daily. [Note: so I don't get attacked by rabid Discworld fans, this is not a direct quote. The book is a further away than my arm can reach.]

"I think I'm going out of my mind."
"Good. It was beginning to get crowded in here."

If it makes you feel I'm any saner I hit my head really hard on a metal bar yesterday and there is a large bump. My little sister wants to be called Mo-Mo, after a peach. I thought about calling her Phyllis anyway, because I don't trust her. Or you, for that matter. She keeps staring at this picture on the wall in the hotel room. Personally, I don't know what she sees in it. I can't tell if these paragraphs help or hurt. I really don't care, but as a writer, I am of course worried about your comfort as a reader.

Oh yeah, and the other day as we were maniacally studying Japanese, my so-called friend Bosley (the toucher or semis) killed me. Yeah, I couldn't believe it either. However, it did bring up an interesting debate. You see, in Japanese, there's two words for existing. Imasu,　います, for living things　(like people and armadillos),　and arimasu, あります, for non-living things (like chairs and paper airplanes). So what would an un-dead human be considered? I dunno. We never did settle on an answer. Sometimes productive things can be distracting from the little things that really matter in life.

I tried to drink another Sobe, but the cap wouldn't open. I had to use a knife, and that was difficult. Would you really trust the person who wrote this blog with a knife?

Yeah.

He Was High on Intellectualism. I've Never Been There But the Brochure Looks Nice.

So last night a baby tried to eat my face. Not even joking. It was really scary. Luckily babies are pretty easy to subdue, but of course it made me think of what it would be like if someone like Arnold Schwaraskjfksadfds tried to. Scary.

Also, last night I talked for awhile with my friends Clydesdale and Eli'th (the apostrophe is pronounce 'apostrophe', so you would say eliapostropheth). We watched this special on Nostrodamus, and naturally, as all things do, it led to the subject of Stonehenge. That's when Clydesdale realized she wanted to be a druid. Well, as Eli'th pointed out, druids are male. And Clydesdale is quite obviously a female. There's also the problem that she's American (or so I thought). So she was talking about wearing a sign that said she'd taken a vow of silence to disguise her voice, and wearing a lot of clothes to cover it up. Then I pointed out that she still walks American, and even if she faked a limp, they would be able to tell. That's about when she told us that she was not, in fact, American, but from Belgium, and therefore Belgisch.
I learned a lot about the Belgisch culture that night.

For instance, I found out that instead of a heart, she had a void. Wanting to know what would happen, I removed the void, very ninja-like. Turns out she had a gnome living there! Well. Turns out the Belgisch and end up rebuking a lover if their gnomes don't like each other. And apparently the hairer the gnome, the better. Also the Belgisch have very good chickens and chocolate. That's what she was going to use to bribe the druids (while contradicting her vow of silence sign, I might add). However, they only eat foods that end in the letter 'o'. So they can't really eat their famous foods. I guess that means a lot of profit comes from exporting? Interesting culture, but not one I think I want to be a part of. I've still never met a gnome though. I guess now I've been very close to one, but Clyde wouldn't open her heart cavity for us to meet him/her.

I'm hungry.

Oh, also, besides the baby trying to eat my face, Mufasa bit my foot, Clyde slapped me in the face (saying that there was just something about my face that made her want to punch it) and pulled my hair. It's been a long day for Gandy. Long enough for her to start talking in the third person, and that's saying something.

I also found out something pretty revolutionary. I thought this whole time it's been odd how Mufasa disappears suddenly everytime there's a Sheryl Crow concert. Well last night I finally found out the reason. I went to Micky D's with Mufasa and our sister who has yet to be named, and the song 'Every Day is a Winding Road' came on the radio. That's when Mufasa finally told us the truth. He has been the writer and singer behind the name Sheryl Crow. He found a fabulous voice changer in the toy section of a Wal-Mart, and it led to the greatness that is, now that you know, 'her'. (Do apostrophes go on the outside or the inside in a case like this? 'her.' or 'her'. or maybe even h'er'.) So the wonderful lyrics like 'I'm a little bit closer....I'm a little bit closer...to feeling fiiiiiiiiiine' are actually Mufasa. You can tell writing runs in the family.

lx -- love from the baby who tried to eat my face off.

Well I think I'll end this blog with a quote from my illustrious father, that I really think applies towards myself and my siblings as well:

"I know why I'm so crazy. It's because of the Earth's rotation.

Damn orbit."

I've been feeling dull as a coathanger.

I haven't written anything in awhile. Mainly because, surprisingly enough, not much has happened. Still, it being the new year and all, perhaps I should. Mostly because I don't like you. And I know that though this causes my own eyes to bleed, it causes your head to explode, and is therefore justified.

I asked my brother, named Mufasa Yoshihashimoto, what I should blog about, and he said, "Your charger's really warm." But he's still pulling thorns out of his face from going sledding face-first into a marsh, so I'm not sure his brain is unaddled yet.

Maybe I could think of a resolution. I could promise I'm going to eat nothing but cinnamon. I could promise that I'll read only words with the letter n in them. I could say I'll only carry things that weigh less than your face. I could swear I'll only watch movies or TV shows that Lucy Lawless is in. (But really, that's kind of a given, so it wouldn't be much of a resolution.)

Mufasa just made an abacus with one ring. You can tell he learned how to count in Wisconsin.

Someday, I will climb Mount Fuji. Until then, I will try not to kick the cows. But once I climb Fuji...yeah, those cows better watch out. Then Gandy will be without constraint! One teacher I had kept calling it 'Mount Fuji-yama.' Always made me laugh. Made me think of calling the sun 'Sun sol sun.' Maybe I will from now on. Sorta has a nice ring to it anyway.

Have you ever drank Sobe? Good stuff. Mufasa and I just drank some, and underneath Mufasa's cap it simply said, 'THE EYES.' :o How delightfully chilling. Mine said 'You're gonna have to trust me behrooz.' When I first saw it I said "?" Now looking at it, I say "?" So now I will leave it up to you, the reader. All -23 of you. What does this meeean??

Hopefully I will have something of more interest later. In the meantime I'll end this work of art with another cliche. Expect the unexpected. Especially eyes.