He Was High on Intellectualism. I've Never Been There But the Brochure Looks Nice.

So last night a baby tried to eat my face. Not even joking. It was really scary. Luckily babies are pretty easy to subdue, but of course it made me think of what it would be like if someone like Arnold Schwaraskjfksadfds tried to. Scary.

Also, last night I talked for awhile with my friends Clydesdale and Eli'th (the apostrophe is pronounce 'apostrophe', so you would say eliapostropheth). We watched this special on Nostrodamus, and naturally, as all things do, it led to the subject of Stonehenge. That's when Clydesdale realized she wanted to be a druid. Well, as Eli'th pointed out, druids are male. And Clydesdale is quite obviously a female. There's also the problem that she's American (or so I thought). So she was talking about wearing a sign that said she'd taken a vow of silence to disguise her voice, and wearing a lot of clothes to cover it up. Then I pointed out that she still walks American, and even if she faked a limp, they would be able to tell. That's about when she told us that she was not, in fact, American, but from Belgium, and therefore Belgisch.
I learned a lot about the Belgisch culture that night.

For instance, I found out that instead of a heart, she had a void. Wanting to know what would happen, I removed the void, very ninja-like. Turns out she had a gnome living there! Well. Turns out the Belgisch and end up rebuking a lover if their gnomes don't like each other. And apparently the hairer the gnome, the better. Also the Belgisch have very good chickens and chocolate. That's what she was going to use to bribe the druids (while contradicting her vow of silence sign, I might add). However, they only eat foods that end in the letter 'o'. So they can't really eat their famous foods. I guess that means a lot of profit comes from exporting? Interesting culture, but not one I think I want to be a part of. I've still never met a gnome though. I guess now I've been very close to one, but Clyde wouldn't open her heart cavity for us to meet him/her.

I'm hungry.

Oh, also, besides the baby trying to eat my face, Mufasa bit my foot, Clyde slapped me in the face (saying that there was just something about my face that made her want to punch it) and pulled my hair. It's been a long day for Gandy. Long enough for her to start talking in the third person, and that's saying something.

I also found out something pretty revolutionary. I thought this whole time it's been odd how Mufasa disappears suddenly everytime there's a Sheryl Crow concert. Well last night I finally found out the reason. I went to Micky D's with Mufasa and our sister who has yet to be named, and the song 'Every Day is a Winding Road' came on the radio. That's when Mufasa finally told us the truth. He has been the writer and singer behind the name Sheryl Crow. He found a fabulous voice changer in the toy section of a Wal-Mart, and it led to the greatness that is, now that you know, 'her'. (Do apostrophes go on the outside or the inside in a case like this? 'her.' or 'her'. or maybe even h'er'.) So the wonderful lyrics like 'I'm a little bit closer....I'm a little bit closer...to feeling fiiiiiiiiiine' are actually Mufasa. You can tell writing runs in the family.

lx -- love from the baby who tried to eat my face off.

Well I think I'll end this blog with a quote from my illustrious father, that I really think applies towards myself and my siblings as well:

"I know why I'm so crazy. It's because of the Earth's rotation.

Damn orbit."